Cloud Easton, A lifetime to perform

Tonight I performed my last concert of the year with the Men's Chorus ensemble here at CNU. While not the best performance I have ever held it had its own incredible points of magnitude, even within this small choir or rag-tag men. I learned something about myself tonight at the performance. Tonight I realized just how cold and cut off I can make myself. Having become detached from a place that used to bring joy and excitement now I only feel like I have a job to do. I don't know what has changed in me but something certainly has. Singing, once the light of my existence has died out from my very being. While I sat and watched everyone clap, hug, cheer, and wave good bye for a year, I felt nothing more than a job was done and one less item was to be performed. I can honestly say I have never felt so insecure in my entire life. What was once my very own Kairos is now dead to me. That time in my life has past, and a pert of me mourns for its passing.